Long time no blog!

Hello all!

Although October is a time that our blog should be kickin' with activity, as you can see I have not made a single entry since mid September! Cearly I do not have time to blog during breast cancer awareness month, The Pink Ribbon Shop's busiest time of year. (I've also accepted the fact that neither do I have the time to decorate the house for Halloween, but that's another matter!) We've been working day and night to get the orders out in a timely manner, and whew, things are finally slowing down a bit!

Another aspect of my life that has suffered during this crazy busy time is my half-marathon training. I am hanging on to my endurance by a mere thread, only running ONE day a week, and that's just my weekend long run. Not cutting it! Consequently my knee has been bothering me. Really pushing myself on Saturday mornings (9 miles this past Saturday) without adequate training during the week is not good on the body. Must ... run ... more ... during the week! I can do it, I will, I will!! Running a 5K this weekend: Addi's Walk by Faith, benefitting Addi's Faith Foundation. It's for a great cause, check it out and donate.

On Saturday's run, I got acquainted with another half-marathon trainee and we got on the subject of breast cancer ... I always wear my New Balance pink ribbon items, including my pink running shoes, so the subject tends to comes up a lot. She asked "How do you know when you have it?" Great question! I am always more than willing to tell my story to whoever will listen! Sadly, I was NOT a regular checker of my breasts. In fact I hardly EVER did breast self-exams. Thankfully God made my "lump" hurt so that I would feel for it. My advice is to KNOW YOUR BREASTS! The more you know what your breasts normally feel like, the more likely you are to recognize when something is not right. Plain and simple. So here I am, living with stage IV breast cancer at age 40-something. One can only wonder where I would be now if I had regularly checked myself and had found the lump earlier, before it had spread to the lymph nodes ... it's something to think about!

Busy-ness, Facebook, and Other Stuff

Hello all! I am really feeling the pinch of breast cancer awareness month being just around the corner. Seems that everyone is getting ready by shopping! Activity at The Pink Ribbon Shop is really ramping up, and any free time (ha-ha) I may have had before is officially gone now. Our online shop is a small, family-run business for me and my husband, but it's a full time job for both of us. October to us is like Christmas to other retailers. It's a crazy time! For me, it's a balancing act to keep our best-selling items in stock while staying on top of the new product game. And everything is magnified: phone calls & customer service inquiries, donation requests, vendor issues, bill paying, employee issues, etc.

Last week, we launched The Pink Ribbon Shop's very own Facebook page! It's been so exciting, but also a lot of work. With the blog, survivor stories, and the Facebook page, on top of our regular website operations, well let's just say we are spread pretty thin! Oh and let's not forget our kids and all of their activities ... but I digress.

Our Facebook page seems to have taken on a life of its own! It started with just a few posts from our customers. It was great receiving such positive feedback about our site and products. Then fans started posting what I call "shout outs" about their survivorship -- how many years, how they're doing now, etc. It's simply amazing! This breast cancer survivor network is really passionate! I just LOVE it. So keep it coming, we love to hear from you.

On a different note, with all that being said, I am STILL working very hard to get caught up on posting survivor stories to this blog. If you've sent in your story and it hasn't yet been posted, please be patient!

Leah's Mom - Deeply Loved & Admired

Leah,

Thanks for sharing your mom's story. It is my hope that when my children are grown, they admire and respect me as much as you do your mom!

Kim

Below is a survivor story about my mom, Claire B., who survived Stage 3 breast cancer.

Leah V.

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I had just brought in groceries when my mother called with the news. Her results were in and the word benign was not part of them. The words floated around and I tried to grab a hold of them, unscramble what I was hearing and have it say something else. But there was no way to make the words malignant and mastectomy into anything but total emotional chaos. At the time I had no way of knowing that the mastectomy was going to be the easy part and that my mother, who had never even driven a car, was about to become a warrior in the biggest fight of her life—a fight for her life.

A few weeks later I had just come back from the beach when my sister called with the news. My mother, our mother, had Stage III breast cancer which had also invaded her lymph nodes. I was numb; I was scared; I was 39 years old and didn’t even know what a node did, let alone what happened when they were gone. I had a lot to learn.

What I soon learned was that my mother, the same woman who buttered my waffles when I was a kid and made meatloaf every Monday, may have lost a breast and a bunch of nodes, but she’d gained a huge set of…pardon the expression…cojones. She braved the chemo, the nausea and fatigue; she held her head high as she came to terms with the altered state of her body and knew radiation might give her the likes of a bad sunburn...without a day at the beach. Her breast was gone and her hair soon followed. As it clumped on her clothes and pillows she made the call—shave it off. We were nervous; it was surreal; for all the times I’d wanted revenge for the bad bang trims she’d given me, I’d never imagined shaving my mother’s head. With the first pass of the razor, we were giggling and rubbing her peachy soft head as if it were a magic lamp and a genie might pop out of her ear. There was no doubt what our three wishes might be and her laughter and courage to walk out of the bathroom bald left me in awe. My mom had yet again managed to be there for me, when it should have been the other way around.

Chemo and radiation not only sought out any remaining cancer cells but it infused her with a strength I’d never known she had. She didn’t shrink from life; she donned her wig and was right where she always was…front and center as part of the foundation that supported and held our family together. Watching my mom fight bravely and selflessly through chemo and radiation showed me something else as well. It gave me a real life glimpse of unconditional love and marriage. My father and mother went through the cancer together; without hesitation; without reservation, they faced it—together. Bald head, one breast and green from nausea, my mother was still the most beautiful woman I’d ever known and I could see the reflection of that in my father. Every time he drove her to and sat through an appointment; when he told her to leave the wig off at home and when he ate soup for dinner because it was all she could stomach, I saw love in its most important form…selfless support and acceptance.

It’s been almost two years since my mother was given the beautiful title of “Survivor in Remission.” It was a title I’d never even heard of nor would ever have wanted to, but when it came to my mother’s brave battle against breast cancer, it was like a Purple Heart, Oscar, Emmy, Golden Globe and being crowned the Queen of England all rolled into one. It was life being allowed to go on with her in it; it was more time for my kids to be with their Me-Mom; my Dad to be with his wife and more time for all of us to spend with this amazing woman whose hard yet elegantly fought battle with breast cancer left us in awe of her strength and resilience. Along with being a wife, mother, grandmother and friend, she is now a “Survivor in Remission.” With her battle scars fading across her chest, her arm wrapped tight against the lymphedema, and her beautiful salt and pepper hair back on her head…my mom is not only a survivor, she is also the greatest heroine of any story, real or imagined, that I’ve ever heard.

Kathy, Doing Well After Double Mastectomy

Kathy,

Thanks for sharing. So glad to hear that are doing well after your double mastectomy. I have a good friend who also chose that, even though the cancer was unilateral and no lymph nodes were involved. She was 31. I always say that that's my one regret with my cancer treatments ... If I had to do it all over again, I would have had a double mastectomy. Although, when my cancer did return, it was on the same side as I had my mastectomy. Go figure!

Glad to hear that you are doing well.

Kim

My breast cancer survivor story

I had my annual mammogram on July 20th, was called back to have a more intensive mammogram done. I was told that I needed to have a needle biopsy done and on August 4, 2008, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Fortunately, it was caught early enough that it didn't get into my lymph nodes and it was only on one side, but due to the fact that my mother died from breast cancer and the chances of the cancer returning in the other breast were high, I chose to have a double mastecomy. I am doing well and I praise God for that.

Kathy S.

Terri, 10-Yr. Survivor, Learns God is in Always in Control

Terri,

Thank you so much for sharing your informative, interesting and inspirational story. Very well written! It's always good to hear from sisters in the faith.

My cancer, too, did not show up on mammogram. The lump was palpable, but very near the chest wall, so it wasn't visualized on the mammogram. Plus, I was 32 so my breasts were dense which also contributed to the mammogram not detecting anything. Ultrasound did show it, and well, the rest is history ... see my previous blog posts for the latest on my cancer journey.

Kim

10 year cancer survivor story

Cancer unfortunately will touch many of us at some point in our life. It may not be you or an immediate family member but chances are good that you will know someone that will have cancer. You may already know someone or you may be like me…a Cancer Survivor. I have found that cancer survivors have an instant bond and friendship. I use Cancer to spread awareness. Because of God giving the wisdom to physicians and prayer, will celebrate my 10 year Breast Cancer anniversary July 19, 2009. It’s funny how our minds work. I can’t remember sometimes the details from 2 days ago but I can remember every minute from July - November in 1999. Maybe that’s God’s way of keeping me grounded and keeping everything in perspective. Genesis 21:22 God is with you in all that you do. On July 1st 1999, I found a small lump in my left breast. I kept thinking why should I even worry, breast cancer doesn’t run in my family, I wasn’t over 40 - I was only 37, none of the risk factors of breast cancer applied to me. Little did I know that 80% of women diagnosed with breast Cancer have no prior family history of cancer. All I knew at that moment was that I had two sons, Jeff - 11 ½ and Justin - 10 years old that needed their Mom, and honestly…..I was worried. I had a mammogram at age 35 as a baseline and I felt healthy so when I went to my gynecologist on Wednesday July 7th, I felt the appointment was just for peace of mind. My gynecologist confirmed that there was a cyst and sent me for another mammogram (18 months since the baseline) the next day Thursday July 8th. The mammogram showed nothing…so the radiologist conducted an Ultrasound. So ladies, if you feel you need to be checked further if a mammogram doesn’t show something but you feel in your heart there is something there, insist on an ultrasound. Mammography works well for women that are post menopausal in their 60s - their breast are less dense. Mammograms are great for screenings, but they aren’t foolproof and ultrasounds work well for women in 30-60 age group. Most important, your best defense is monthly self-breast exams and yearly checkups. The statistics show 1 in 8 women will get breast cancer. Race is not considered a factor that might increase a woman’s chance of getting breast cancer. White women have a higher rate of developing breast cancer than any other racial or ethnic group. However, among women under age 40, African Americans have a higher incidence of breast cancer than white women. Breast cancer in men is rare, but it does happen. Roughly 1,900 men will be diagnosed, and about 450 will die of the disease this year. Many men do not even realize they can develop this disease. Unfortunately, this can delay diagnosis and as a result, some cancers are not found until the disease has progressed to a later stage. However, when cancer is found at the same stage among men and women, the survival rates are similar. Because the male breast is much smaller than the female breast, it is more likely the disease will spread to the chest wall. Now that I have probably unnerved you with those statistics let me give you the good news. If you are diagnosed with breast cancer, the 5-year survival rate for all women diagnosed with breast cancer is 89 percent. This means that 89 out of every 100 women with breast cancer will survive for at least five years. Most will live a full life and never have a recurrence. Your chances of surviving are better if the cancer is detected early, before it spreads to other parts of your body. In fact, when breast cancer is found early and confined to the breast, the 5-year survival rate is 98 percent. I like to believe that I am in 98% since I found the tumor and the cancer had only spread to 2 out of 10 lymph nodes. Enough stats…the Ultrasound did confirm something was there and I went to the surgeon the next day, Friday July 9th for a biopsy. That weekend was hard – just not knowing I found was worse than knowing. I have a controlling personality which made the waiting terrible but I felt God was letting me know I wasn’t in control and just trust him. Proverbs 3:5,6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. Less than 2 weeks from the time I discovered the cyst, I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and on Monday July 19th, 1999, I had a mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. After surgery and the complete biopsy, I was told my treatment was going to be 4 aggressive Chemo treatments every 3 weeks over a 3 month time period that would begin in August. Now let me share that you can always see that God is there and you can take instances that are perceived as bad but actually can turn out to be well worth the pain and anguish. I truly believe everything good or bad happens for a reason. So my illness brought more to light concerning my children that I don’t know if I would have known if I hadn’t gotten sick. We went to church. My sons were involved in RAs and Sunday school but little did I know that my oldest was really struggling with his beliefs. At the time I was diagnosed I remember thinking - thank goodness my youngest, Justin was too young to understand but I didn’t realize he was just keeping things to himself and he understood more than I realized. I was wrong as well that I thought my oldest, Jeff was in better spiritual shape after all he had even been baptized. But, Jeff shared with me after my surgery that he really didn’t know if there was a God. “How could God let his Mom get sick?” He was struggling with his faith. As a parent, how do you fix this situation again I am a control freak – thinking I can fix everything. But, I prayed to God that I didn’t know how to deal with this issue or how to correct it. My prayer was that my sons know him no matter what happened to me that I really believed he was in charge and I would accept the outcome as God’s Will. When my hair was falling out from the chemo, my husband and youngest son had gone to football practice. I was on the deck on Labor Day trying to shave my head….my oldest son, the non-believer, came out to help me….he said “I can do this Mom, I will shave your head and we aren’t going to cry because this is the last bad thing we are going to have to deal with…you only have 3 more treatments to go”. Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. I believe the Lord was working that day with the both of us. Jeff grew up a lot that day and I learned it’s just hair, something that first came to mind when I was diagnosed didn’t seem so important anymore…Ladies, I really know what a “bad hair day” really is. After breast cancer, Jeff’s faith grew and he now completely devotes his life to God and is “on fire” for the Lord. He is active in his church and a senior in college and very active with the “Fellowship of Christian Athletes”. Justin got saved after my battle with breast cancer of which Jeff decided to get baptized again since he felt this time he wasn’t just going through the motions any more. Something all parents live to see is their children’s baptism and I had both of mine at the same time. Justin kept his head shaved the whole time I was bald. He actually had a teacher whose sister had Breast Cancer that in his year book stated she couldn’t have gotten through the ordeal without their talks. That was his way of dealing with me having cancer by going through the illness again with his teacher. Justin, a junior in college now is involved in many activities such as community service. His freshman year, he shared with me an Essay he wrote called “The Cancer’s Toll” of which he got an “A”. It was very enlightening for me to read his recollection of our Breast Cancer Family Experience. He writes “many people go through life encountering many unexpected events that will impact them the rest of their life. I believe the greatest impact on my life was when my mother had cancer. Although cancer is always looked upon as an awful situation, it changed many of my family members including myself for the better”. He recaps the events that I have shared with you today and closes with this paragraph “There is a greater appreciation for every moment we have here and he has a totally a different perspective on life. He values the time with each other and thinks everyone should enjoy life with a lot more playing than working (which playing he certainly does more than I wish sometimes at college). He also said “he loves that his Mom doesn’t dread birthdays like most women because that’s just one more year Breast Cancer free”. I wonder if my sons, now men, would have been different if there hadn’t been Breast Cancer and I chose to believe they are better men because of Breast Cancer. I like to believe my husband and I are also better because of Breast Cancer. We don’t sweat the small stuff. With the economy situation, we try to focus on we have our health and each other. Everything else will work itself out. We celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary last year and I plan on celebrating our 50th anniversary as well cancer free! Breast Cancer or any cancer for that matter isn’t a “death sentence” provided it is detected early. Keep your Faith – know that God is there every step of the way. Don’t wait until you have this type of experience to tell the people around you how much they mean to you and how much you love them. If you find that are going through illness or bad times in their life, it’s ok if you have a pity party even if no one attends the party but you and God, just have that good cry, pray fervently to help you focus on the good and remember my favorite verse. Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

In closing, always trust God to be in control. I will be the first to admit sometimes I still forget that I cannot control or fix everything. There is a Higher power – just let things be and never take life, my family, friends, health and so forth - all these blessing for granted!

Terri S.

My Health Update

At the request of a few readers, here's an update on how I'm doing. In a word, Great! I continue on my monthly Zolodex injections, which are now administered by my husband, Danny. (And by the way he is absolutely the best person at doing that. Better than any nurse I've received it from!) Doing this allows us to only have to travel to MD Anderson quarterly instead of monthly, as I've done for the past 3 years. When I say "travel," I mean drive 45-60 minutes. We are fortunate to be that close to the best cancer treatment center in the world, so I can't very well complain. It's just that it's an all-day affair when we do go for my treatments, and I would rather NOT go if I don't have to.

My scans have been spaced to every 6 months now, because all of my results have been consistently good since being put on this current medication regimen of Femara (by mouth daily,) Zolodex, and Zometa. Where there once was a "moderate pleural effusion" surrounding my left lung is now only a small amount of scar tissue. I saw that chest CT scan -- it looked much more than "moderate" to me ... the doggone lung was being squeezed to less than half its normal size due to the fluid around it ... but I digress. The radiologist's reports describe the bone metastasis on my left femur, sternum, and lower spine as "healing" and "stable." Where once my chest's lymph nodes were enlarged, "grape-like clusters," they are now of normal size and barely visible. It's nothing short of miraculous, really! Really!

I've started my 2nd year of training to run a half-marathon. I completed my first one on New Year's Day of this year and plan to do the same as I ring in 2010. It's funny, but I'm in the best physical condition I've ever been in in my adult life -- And I'm a 41 year-old, stage IV breast cancer survivor!

My only real issue these days is something I don't think I've discussed here before. [WARNING: If you're my mom, dad, mother-in-law, father-in-law, or someone who isn't comfortable discussing private matters, please stop here ... Please.] The issue is sex. Since my cancer is estrogen-receptor positive, part of my treatment is to rid my body of all estrogen. My ovaries have been permanently shut down with the medication I am taking. I've been put into menopause and haven't had a menstrual period since Summer 2006, the month before beginning treatment for my stage IV recurrence. Consequently, my sex drive has taken a big hit. And on top of that, sexual intercourse is now painful. Unbearably painful.

My husband has been incredibly understanding during all of this and has been more than willing to participate in some alternative "fun." But it still saddens me! We had what I considered a great sex life before my #2 cancer diagnosis, and now it's ... not. I know that he has physical needs, and lately he has trouble accepting that my issues aren't related to feelings for him. I feel like my body has turned against me and has seriously marred this part of our marriage!

My gyn doc prescribed a small amount of testosterone cream, topically to the wrist, to help with the libido issue(My oncologist quickly nixed that idea because testosterone cream may be converted to estrogen in the body. She didn't want to take any chances, and neither did I and neither did Danny!) Gyn doc found nothing that could be causing the discomfort. I did some reading, um, Googling, and many "treatments" were hormone-based, which I cannot take because of my ER+ cancer. Currently I am trying out a definitely "alternative" treatment which I'm a little embarrassed to disclose at present. :) If it works, I'll disclose, I promise!

So there you have it! A complete and thorough update on ME. If any of you have had similar issues, I would love to hear from you. Any suggestions? (because sexual issues really suck!)

Thanks for reading,
Kim

Carla, Helps Mom then is Diagnosed Herself

I really feel for Carla who, having been through her mom's cancer ordeal and subsequent failing health, was then diagnosed herself! They say God doesn't give you more than you can handle ... she must be a very strong woman!

Interesting that her cancer came back on her implants. Implants are a subject that I've been wanting to discuss on the blog for a while now. Not implants put in after breast cancer, but implants that women get merely for aesthetic purposes. I'll blog on that at a later date.

MY STORY WITH BREAST CANCER

In 1998, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had to get a lumpectomy, in which they remove part of the breast. Then, she was told she would undergo chemotherapy and radiation treatments. When she did the chemotherapy treatment, it caused her to get sick a lot. The doctors told us that she “would have down days.” I asked the doctor, “What do you mean by that?” In addition, he said, that she has to stay away from everyone because her immune system would break down. In addition, she could get sick easily. Then, my mom’s hair started to fall out. This was caused by the chemotherapy treatments. So, being the daughter that I am, I decided to cut my hair to support her, in her time of need. That seemed like it helped her a little, but you know how mothers are, that was not enough. Therefore, I got my sisters and aunts together and we bought different kinds of wigs for her. That put a smile on her face and she soon realized that her hair would grow back.

Once the chemotherapy treatments were over, she had to go through radiation treatments. The radiation treatments made her feel tired a lot. Therefore, there was not much we could do to get her energy up, again.

Unfortunately, we found out that the chemotherapy treatments caused her kidneys to fail. This is known as “RENAL FAILURE.” She was put on dialysis for one and a half years. My sisters and I got together to see who would match. Fortunately, for my mother, two of us matched, and the others had medical problems. The two that matched were my oldest sister and I. We had to undergo a series of treatments. Once the tests were over with, my mother and I found out that, my oldest sister chickened out, because her husband did not want her to do the surgery. I think that she was very scared, because she did not know what life would be without a kidney…all she had to do was ask the kidney doctors, what it would be like to live with one kidney. At this point, all I was worried about was giving my mom a kidney. Therefore, when all was said and done, I was the one who gave her a kidney.

I told my sisters that I would do it with no hesitation. My mother gave me life, so why not give her one of my kidneys to prolong her life a little more? I was a little mad, no I am lying I was mad as heck. For the simple reason, I just started my apprenticeship. In addition, my oldest sister was not working at the time, which made me have to take off from work for one and a half months. I really did not care, as long as my mother was getting kidney.

Now, the kidney only lasted for five years., due to not having her medication. She was just too proud to ask me for the money, because I gave her the kidney. Therefore, she had to go back on dialysis. Once she was back on dialysis, she began to see things. I found out about this from one of my younger sisters. That she is not doing well. She had shortness of breathe and hallucinated a lot…Once again, I tried to do whatever it took to help my mom. It has been one rollercoaster ride after another. My mother’s health started going down, and she had been in and out the hospital constantly. In and out of consciousness, we had to admit her in the hospital. After being in the hospital for so long, she said, she thought she would never go home. When she finally came home, it was only for two weeks, before she went back to the hospital. The reason for that was shortness of breathe…The last time my mom was admitted to the hospital, we received a call telling us that she would not make it through the night. We went to the hospital, to see her and she relapsed into a coma.

When they said that they were going to remove the breathing tube and not put it back, I got scared. Because, I had never gotten to tell her that I had BREAST CANCER, too. So, I ran in the intensive care room, looked at my mom and said, “MOM THERE’S SOMETHING I NEED TO TELL YOU, I HAVE BREAST CANCER AND I NEED YOU HERE TO GO THROUGH IT WITH ME, LIKE I DID WITH YOU, SO DON’T GO!!!” Once I said that, she moved her right arm and leg to let us know that she is not going anywhere. She was still with us…Unfortunately, on May 23, 2007, she passed away from heart failure, as they say. I talked to my mom three days before she had passed and she remembered that I had breast cancer because she asked me how the surgery went. I said fine. I was so happy to hear her voice, not knowing that would be the last time I would hear her voice.

My experience with breast cancer is weird because I have gone through it all. I had a double mastectomy. I was told that I was a good candidate for implants. I received the implants, and to my surprise, they felt like I was being ripped apart. Therefore, I decided to have the tram-flap, which is a tummy tuck, not to flatten your tummy, but to get rid of your little pouch. They took my pouch area and reattached it to my existing breast area, to make new breasts. It was a good thing that I did the reconstructive surgery, because they found cancer cells growing on my implants. After the surgery, I had to do radiation treatments. Now, I am just waiting to get my right breast lifted to be even with my left breast. Then, I will be all right.

Celeste, Breast Cancer and New Primary Site

Celeste had the misfortune of being diagnosed with bone cancer (chondrosarcoma) shortly after her breast cancer treatment.

Once upon a time...When I was 45 years old I had a mammogram
and they found a lump, so I had a biopsy. It was cancer, 1.5 cm
no nodes involved. I did 6 rounds of chemo,(CMF). When I had pre-op
to my surgery they did a bone scan and they found an 8 cm tumor in
my femur. I had an MRI and they said it was not cancer. When I was 48
I had pain in my femur, took an x-ray and the bone was ready to break!!
I went to Mass General they did a bone biopsy and it was also cancer.
It had not spread to bone but a new primary. This cancer is called chrondrosarcoma.
The surgery for the cancer is a bone transplant with a cadaver bone. So they replace
most of my femur. I had 2 years of physical therapy. Last week I went back to Boston
for a follow-up and they found a spot on lung. The words I never wanted to hear.
I had a ct scan just this weekend so I am waiting for results.

ADDENDUM:
My results of the spot found on lungs was NOT cancer it was a granuloma.

Roz Survives and Awaits her "Perky Boobs"

"Perky Boobs" with breast reconstruction ... truly a gift after having a mastectomy! Although in my case it was short-lived because of being blessed with one more baby after breast cancer -- sadly, the sag has returned (and so has the belly! :)

I am a Breast Cancer Survivor Too!

It is nice to see that I am not the only one. When I found my lump, I was doing a comparison between my left and right boob. I did not find when I did my monthly breast exam. I found my Lump in September of 2008. I had my mammogram on October 24th. I had my needle biopsy on the 30th of October. Which was very painful. A few days went by and they called me and said that I needed to see a breast surgeon. I said "okay". I knew right away and I took in stride. I also said to myself I will get through this. They scheduled my surgeical biopsy on December 3rd. A week goes by and I went to the surgeons office and she told me that I breast cancer. I was scared but I knew that I could handle it. I had no choice. I guess since my mom had Uterine, lung, brain cancer, I was able to deal with it. It seemed that when the doctor told me, I felt that my mom was looking over me. We scheduled my lumptectomy on January 3rd 2009. They tried to get it all but there still some cells that were yukky. Since I was big boobed, we thought we would try another lumpectomy. But that was also unsuccessful. We had no other choice but do the mastectomy along with reconstruction. We did the mastectomy and started the reconstruction on February 25th, 2009. And hopefully by early fall I will have perky boobs. That is what keeps me going besides my sense of humor and networking and to help other people. I take each day as it comes. I still keep positive no matter what. Even though it is easier said than done. ;-)

Roz S.

Corina, Diagnosed as 32-Year-Old Newlywed

Corina's story has many similarities with mine -- of course, I've done a lot of "cancer" time during the past 9 years, having been through a mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiation, reconstructive surgery, Stage IV recurrence, and ongoing treatments. I suppose I can relate in some way to LOTS of other breast cancer survivors!

We were both 32 years old at diagnosis. We both had a positive attitude and supportive family, which played a big part in our journeys. And I, too, had a baby after cancer treatment -- my baby boy is now 7 years old and is a total sweetheart.

I just celebrated my 8 year wedding anniversary and not only does it signify another year with the love of my life it signifies my life and being here to celebrate.
8 years ago I thought that life couldn't be better. I had just gotten married and was excited to start my life as a wife and mother. My husband had three teenage children and I loved being a step mom but I couldn't wait to have babies of my own. Three weeks after we were married my husband found a lump in my breast. My choice was to just ignore it. I was terrified, knowing deep inside that it wasn't good. I remember that night I didn't sleep much at all. I prayed and prayed that it would just go away and then I would wake up and feel it still there and pray some more just hoping that God would just take it away. 2 days later my husband drug me to the doctor and a day later I had it removed. I will never forget the day that the phone rang with the news... Cancer .. How could this happen to me? I was only 32 and had no family history of cancer. Why me? Why me? Then it just hit me ... why not me? Thousands of people are diagnosed with cancer every day, why do I think I am any better than they are? No one deserves cancer. I remember that I was standing in my closet finding something to wear and I decided that I could do this one of two ways. I could cry and feel sorry for myself or I could smile and be positive. I had to go through it no matter what and it was going to be miserable enough, so I put on a smile, got dressed and faced it with a positive attitude.
I had an amazing doctor and I put all my trust in him. Some people like to do research and find out every detail about their cancer and be involved in every decision about their treatment. I tried this way and it was so overwhelming to me. I would start to think and then panic and this really effected my positive attitude so I decided that I would leave it in my doctors hands. I listened and asked questions and did what I was told and I took it one treatment or surgery at a time. I never looked ahead any further than the next doctors visit. This kept me sane then and still does today.
The worst part for me was the thought of losing my hair. I could do the surgery, I could do the chemo and radiation, I could be sick, but not bald. I ordered a wig before I even started treatments and dreaded the day when it happened. I decided once again that I needed to be positive and joked with everyone that I was starting a bald club and needed members. This really upset my sister, that I could joke about it. I just told her "hey its going to happen, I better be prepared". I started tugging at my hair about a week after my first chemo and the day that it came out when I tugged was so hard. I always had long beautiful hair that I truly loved. I held this chunk of hair and cried most of the day. I allowed myself to grieve and cry and then I made a plan. Every Labor Day weekend my family has a huge camp out with all my cousins, aunts and uncles. I called my mom and told her to pack her clippers, we were having a head shaving party. If I did it with all my family there and we made it special then it would be less traumatic for me. I gathered everyone together and we formed a half circle around "the chair". I stood to take my place in the chair and tears streamed down my face as I saw my husband already sitting there. I held his hand and cried as my mother shaved his head and then I took my turn. To my surprise my dad was next, then my stepsons and brothers, uncles and cousins. Every time someone got up from "the chair" there was someone waiting for their turn. There were 15 of us that day that joined the bald club. It made a terrible day special, a day I will always treasure. We used a lot of sunscreen that weekend and I am sure the other campers were a little worried about all the strange bald people at the lake. Bald wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I used less shampoo and could finally get ready faster than my husband. I never did wear the wig. I was proud to be bald. I didn't want peoples sympathy, I wanted others to be aware of cancer and see that it isn't a death sentence. I wanted to everyone to see that I was living in spite of having cancer and most of all I wanted people to have hope. If they saw me bald and proud then they would know that there is hope. I am proof of that.
On my first meeting with my doctor there were 2 things he said that I will never forget. First he told me that even though he is the doctor, if there were something that he was doing that didn't feel right to me, then we would do something different and second, that I would probably never be able to have children. That was by far worse than anything. I love children and wanted several of my own. I was so angry that day. Nothing could prepare me for that news. My faith in God gave me comfort and I took it one day at a time. I finished chemo and radiation and started on Tamoxifan. I had such a bad feeling about taking this drug, it never felt right to me. One day I told my doctor that I was quitting Tamoxifan and was going to try to get pregnant. This was only 6 months after chemo and he told me that he thought that I needed to wait at least 2 years but that he would respect my decision. He said I needed to wait 6 weeks after I stopped the drug to try to get pregnant. I decided that I would give it 6 months, if I didn't get pregnant then I would go back on the medication and forget about having a baby. I was 32 and my husband was 38, with 3 teenagers, it was starting over for him and we just didn't see us starting a family if we waited 5 years (if I were even able by then) I think it was 6 weeks to the day that I stopped taking my medication that I got pregnant. I didn't think about the possibilities and dangers, I just enjoyed being pregnant. After the birth of my healthy son, I had a full hysterectomy to stop all those crazy hormones that fed my cancer. I never did feel good about taking Tamoxifan, so I took Arimidex for 5 years. I celebrated the day I got to stop. It felt so good to reach that milestone. I have been cancer free for 8 years now. I still panic if I actually stop and think about all the possibilities. I can't allow myself to worry. I have no control over whether or not the cancer will return, if it does then I will deal with it. Life is too short to worry about it. Life is too precious to worry about it. I take it one day at a time.
Cancer gave me a strength I never knew I had. It made me a better person. If trials don't make us stronger and better then the trials win. Cancer will not win, it will not beat me, even if one day it takes my life .... it will never take the person that I am.